Through the rain to get to you
by Anniepaulie
Summary: Post finale. Joey gets a phone call warning her about an accident. What happened?


**After finale fic. Whole box of Kleenex needed.**

**Again, I don't own them. **

**Through the rain to get to you**

Her cell phone rang, claiming for attention. His words, said in a shaky voice, told her all she needed to know.

An accident. Two little words with too much meaning behind them.

"_Stop pulling my hair!"_

"_It was an accident." _

"_It will happen where you last expect it."_

That was not supposed to happen today. Today would be one of those memorable happy days. She had so many of them lately that she didn't even remember how the sad ones were.

"_I...I don't know what to say here, to make you feel better."_

"_Just shut your mouth up and sit here with me." _A thirteen year old version of herself replied in her memory.

But now they were coming into her memory while she drove through the rain, silently praying that this was one of those bad dreams. Soon she would wake up; his arms around her waist, making her feel better. Feel alive.

"_This morning, your arm brushed against me and I felt it."_

"_How did it feel?"_

"_It made me feel alive." _

They grew up together. Sworn enemies, but always there for each other.

"_Why did it have to be you to see me like this?"_

"_It's a new year. Who knows? We might even become friends."_

The friendship turned into something else as they grew closer. Something that took all of their young hearts.

"_I know how I feel. You know how I feel, that's pretty obvious by now. The question is how do you feel?"_

"_If you felt even one shred of what I feel for you, than we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation."_

"_Ten"_

"_I think I'm in love with you."_

"_You think or you know?"_

"_Maybe things like this just come tumbling out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you. But the really scary thing is, I think that they're true."_

"_We were alone on a boat for three months and you understood without a word why I wasn't ready. Do you have to ask me now why I am? I'm gonna count to 10… and then I'm going to start kissing you. If you don't want me to… you're just going to have to stop me."_

And then everything fell apart. Her insecurities, her fears took all over her, making him doubt what they had created, their love. With just one word she ruined it all.

"No."

If she listened to her heart then, not to her stupid head, so many happy moments would have happened. If she had not been selfish, insecure, they would have lived their dream for much longer. With less pain and loneliness.

"_You make me feel like I'm nothing."_

And he left her, struggling to have his heart back, breaking hers on the process. But he came back and, although he made no signs of showing it, his heart never gave up on her, on them. He stayed around. He became again her friend and confident.

"_What you said earlier was right. I never did. How could I? Just look at you."_

"_Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there... like...white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to."_

"_I wouldn't have been able to concentrate because every time you're 5 feet away from me or 25 feet away from me, for that matter... there's really only one thing that I want to do."_

And again she made the wrong choice. She got scared, caught the easy way. She could get hurt again. Her heart wouldn't bear a second time. She ran away. Lied to him and, worse of all, lied to herself.

"_I don't feel it."_

Years passed. They never talked about those days again. And she had to go through an expected loss of a friend, to finally come into terms with what she needed in her life. What she lacked to be truly happy. His heart.

"_Maybe I can help. What if I demand that you make that decision? No more running. I'm going to make it my dying wish. My death will serve a greater purpose. It's your ultimate motivator."_

"_I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point to this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook." _

"_You know, for the record, I don't want to be let off the hook. Because everything in my life that I've done has led me here... right now, and the last thing I want, need, or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook."_

"_Please don't miss my point here 'cause…"_

"_And don't miss mine. I love you. You know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it."_

And after the stormy days and the pain, they could finally be happy, in peace with themselves. They would fight over silly things, but would always hold onto each other every night. They would laugh and cry together. Until tonight.

She shook her head; trying to push away the bad feelings…everything was all right. She hated driving in the rain; she hated the darkness surrounding her, like the entire world was sad, crying. She passed through the same point where everything started so many years ago.

"_Don't you ever get tired of talking? Cause I get tired of talking."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I don't wanna talk anymore."_

She smiled. She was being silly over this. Nothing bad happened. He would be there, waiting for her, wiping her tears of relief, telling her that it was nothing; she didn't need to worry so much.

She parked her at the hospital's lot, shivering. She hated hospitals, nothing good came from hospitals. Again she fought the weird feelings she was having. Maybe her hormones were starting to kick in, she thought, softly rubbing her stomach. Everything was fine, they had to be.

"_I'd really like to look into our future."_

And that's what she had growing within her. Her future. Their future. Promises of hope and happiness. She walked through the white corridors, just to see her brother –in- law's desperate face.

By the looks in his teary eyes she knew it. She had no more future.

Her true love was dead.

Pacey Witter is dead.

No more pancakes and kisses in the morning.

No more silly grins and blue eyes shining.

Pace…dead.

Dead.

Dead.

"No!"

"_I remember everything."_

**Learn To Say Goodbye. by Dusty Springfield **

_(Hugo Montenegro / Bradford Craig)_

_When I close my eyes I can see your face  
Tho' I try I can't believe that you are gone  
There's a part of you that's a part of me  
And no matter where I go it comes along  
Reminding me of all the good times  
And, of course, some of the bad  
But then again, some of those hard times  
Were the best we ever had_

_How can I learn to say goodbye  
To the only life I ever knew?  
Learn to say goodbye to you?  
How can I learn to say goodbye?  
Tell me - how do you expect me to  
Say goodbye to you?_

_When I needed you, you were always there  
You were more than love to me, you were a friend  
They say that time is all that matters  
And to live it while it lasts  
But I can't stop from reminiscing  
Or stop living in the past_

_How can I learn to say goodbye  
To the only life I ever knew?  
Learn to say goodbye to you?  
How can I learn to say goodbye?  
Tell me - how do you expect me to  
Say goodbye to you?_

_How can I learn to say goodbye  
To the only life I ever knew?  
Say goodbye to you?  
How can I learn to say goodbye?  
Tell me - how do you expect me to  
Say goodbye to you?_


End file.
